Sunday, June 14, 2009

Tashan

As Bhaiyyaji urf Anil kapoor would say -"thee style, thee good-luck, the bhen-kat phaarmoola!"

Flop movie by box-office standards. A movie that is, as the joke goes - "of bollywood, by bollywood, (and only) for bollywood". Not that many turned up in the theaters to watch by anybody's count. All my friends hated it. Me? I went and bought the bloody DVD. That's right. Cheapskate that I am, don't believe in buying content - movies, music or books - paid my 20 bucks and bought the damn thing.


Things that worked

Bhaiyyaji - Anil Kapoor. What an awesome performance. This guy can act, shows you all he has picked up in his long desi phillum career. deserves recognition for this, almost makes up for all his OTT shamelessness in "the hollywood" trying to milk Slumdog Millionaire.

Bhaiyyaji's Henchmen - from the bengali-ish accents, to the crazy outfits, to the crazy psychopathic games. perfect mix of buffoonery and violent criminality. nice touch

Bachchan Pandey - Perfect character for Akshay Kumar; and to his credit he ate it up and ran with it. Carried the movie with flair - even the stupid matrixxy fight scenes where he single-handedly takes out 50 pseudo-SWAT guys in that Rajasthani Haveli. Well almost, anyway. Brilliant entry scene, brilliant accent and delivery. Better acting than I thought he was capable of.

The comedy.
This movie will be a cult classic years from now. Or it should be if you ask me.

Dil Dance mare.
Brilliant song, brilliant set-up. brilliant execution. Yes, I know, I like the word brilliant a bit too much.

The flash-back.
The hook from "Falak tak" is still in my head. Good perf by the child actors as well.

Things that didn't

Kareena kapoor. Can't stand either of the kapoor sisters, especially this one. And the weight loss left her looking freakishly thin, with a giant head. Yuck. Total turn-off. This was a meaty role for "Bebo", too bad she couldn't get it done.

Saif Ali Khan's dancing
Totally ruined what could have been an awesome song. Sukhwindar as always, delivers with the vocals, and the foot-stomping Saif has you cringing right away.

Zee Ending
The Desparado/Kill Bill ishtyle acshun just didn't do it for me. 15 minutes too long, at least. Come on. Is there a need for a Tridev style phight scene that goes on and on for what seemed like half an hour? Really. The Eighties called, they want their ending back.

The Chaliya song. Kareena, freaky giant head, freaky pencil thin legs, Ew.

Team India crash out of T20 world cup

Jo Dar gayaa, woh mar gayaa...

So once again, India maintain the pattern of disappointing results in the face of great expectations. :((

At least they are consistent. I was hoping that this would be the tournament that they turn that corner, do well when they are expected to. Oh well, if at first you don't succeed...

Twenty-20 cricket, along with cutting out the fat of the boring middle-over phase of One-day cricket, also blows away the room for error that a team has. Get a couple of key decisions wrong, and you are in danger of losing the game.

Our fearless leader got the batting order wrong, twice in 2 super 8 games and that ended up being the difference between winning and losing. Don't get me wrong, I think 'MS' is the best Indian captain I have seen in my 20+ years as a cricket fan; but this is a patently obvious mistake that someone of his abilities should have recognized and corrected. In my opinon, Dhoni is one of the shrewdest and earliest judges of momentum in world cricket today; he recognizes it and stays ahead of it most of the time. This empowers him to make, more often than not, the right bowling change at the right time. He still is, a damn good on-field captain. But if he is the one who made the call regarding our batting order, he clearly got it wrong.

Batting order is one of the key decisions that a T20 Captain makes; and can have a huge impact on the game. The pace of T20 cricket dictates that at any point you have to have one bat at the crease, who is going after the bowlers, unless you're into your last handful of wickets. There is simply no need for a "consolidation" phase. Given the wealth of options that Team India had, there was no reason to resort to promoting Jadeja. Dhoni, over the last few years, has displayed an admirably fearless approach in striding out to the middle and answer the call - whether the team needs quick runs or a stabilizing, strike-rotating approach. Time and again, he has floated up the order or down to finish games. This of all games, was one where he should have done that. Unfortunately, he's been in a bit of a slump and after that nurdling, border-line criminal 23-ball 11 against the windies, probably a bit short of confidence. One can understand the argument of saving Yuvraj till the 2nd half of the game, but there was no need to hold back three finishers and put the responsibility on young jaddu.

Any cricket fan will tell you, that it is chasing 101 - got to stay ahead or at the required run-rate in order to maximize the probabilities of finishing the game. Can't dig yourself too deep a hole, even if you are holding the twin aces Yuvi and Yusuf up your sleeve. Because you just might end up short.

Sure, hindsight - some will say. All armchair captains know what the right call should have been, few can do it when the heat is on. But gada-dhaari Dhoni has done it for Team India, made the right call umpteen times. Too bad he made the wrong one twice in a row. In cricket, as in life - jo dar gaya......... woh to totally gaya, mere bhai.

Painful lesson it was, I hope the Indian team learnt it well.

A team stacked to the gills with batting ability, even on the bench, can't chase 153 against England? Doesn't deserve to win a world cup that's for sure. That's the hardest part to stomach as an Indian fan - not for the first time, we've been let down by our much bally-hooed bats.

By the way, Nasser Hussain was one of the commies for the game, and he had a great time salving some of the scars the Indian team inflicted on him during his playing days; gloatingly pointed out the Indian young guns' discomfort with the short stuff. He made a bit too much out of it, saying that 'India have been technically found out'. But Rohit and Raina, especially Raina, would do well to work on this aspect of their games.